The Art of Re-Framing

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. -Helen Keller

It’s January, and we’re back to the time of year of taking down the Christmas tree, wrapping up the sparkly lights, and scooting back into the groove of daily living. But this year, daily living looks a whole lot different for us, as I’m sure it does for a lot of you.

the incredible view over Prague's Old Town and spires from Petrin Hill

Instead of seeing a fleecy layer of snow covering our former neighborhood street in Ohio, USA, we now look out onto the snowy streets running by our cozy expat house in Prague. I love when the sun peaks out from behind its foggy mask, and the snow comes to life with a million glimmers. But here, without curbs to dam back much of the mud and without fixes to cobblestone potholes as big as the Czech Šköda cars, the condition of the roads here quickly transforms the snowy Prague wonderland into piles of black slush. Somehow, January’s cold gloom makes seeing the grimy slush in the streets easier to see than the snow sparkling across the tree limbs and rooftops.

It is then I need to remember the art of reframing.

today's sunrise from our balcony in Prague

For me, it doesn’t take many days of problems with service with basic things here in Prague for me to begin to feel frustrated. Frustrated at the size of our dorm-sized refrigerator and our tiny eco-friendly washer and dryer (for a family of five). Bothered by the way our internet works on some days, and does nothing but frizzle on others. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera—the list for expats in a far-behind country is long. Really.
BUT, if I reframe the situation, and I look through a different lens, I can remember the benefits, see the hidden beauty, and find new pieces of life for which to be thankful. For me, if I didn’t experience the drawbacks, I wouldn’t have a chance to experience the beauty—of seeing Europe as a family, of gaining immeasurable amount of writing material for future novels, of our children getting the chance at an incredible education, and so much more.

The truth is we all have problems and heartaches in life, yearly, monthly, daily, even hourly. Certainly, one of the great abilities in life is to find the good and to choose love, and develop a thick patience for the irritants. For when we can, a whole world of possibility and adventure rests at the doorstep to our lives. All we have to do is choose to open the door… and life becomes a take-your-breath-away adventure.

I hope you are having a super start to your new year, to your 2010. Here’s to the daring adventure of watching for life’s beauties, practicing seeing the snowy rooftops instead of the slushy streets, (and finding new ways to fit more into my refrigerator door …)

Starting the conversation: What ways have you learned to reframe pieces of your life?
(I'd love to hear your comments in the comments section, below)

Now What?: Three Daily Goals for Moving Forward through Change

I had lunch with a friend yesterday, and we talked about the struggle with Now What? Maybe the question is familiar to you, as well … so I thought I’d write about it, at this time of year of new life and love at Christmas, and fresh starts at the New Year.

The Nativity near Saint Nikolas Church, on Old Town Square, Prague, Czech Republic

Jesus came. And we ask: Now What?

He said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” –John 10:10

Now What? is a question I face whenever I’ve crossed the threshold into a new phase in life. This year, I’ve been challenged in new ways (all our boys are in school full-day this year, and we’ve moved to Prague as expats), and so I’ve asked the question quite a lot. Now What?

Sometimes the question sneaks up as we work hard and struggle through something to achieve a worthwhile goal (maybe losing a few pounds, going for a job interview, or even—defeating cancer). But once we’ve reached that goal, we get to the triumph, breathe a moment, and then wonder Now What?

For me, maybe it’s that I’ve changed a bit during the journey to get there, or maybe had to grow a whole lot. After the goal, the world looks different. And there at the brink of our next step, if we listen closely, we can hear the question ring out from deep inside: Now What? Because nothing is the same—the way we see the world, the way others see us, and our relationship to our prior goals. Maybe it’s that the pieces of our lives have rearranged themselves in order of importance.

I’m a firm believer that 1) Life is a gift, and 2) We were each made for a reason. This article post written by Michael Hyatt, based on the new Andy Andrews book, The Noticer, sums it up well:

We have been given the gift of today because we have yet to fulfill our biggest purpose; we have yet to make our most important contribution. [my paraphrase]

In that light, today is another step closer toward fulfilling that for which we were created.

These are my three answers to the question, Now What?, and coincidentally my goals for each day:

1) Love.

2) Be Loved.

3) Make the best use of the gifts I’ve been given to shine for God.

God offers us new beginnings every step along the way. Today is the next step …

Starting the Conversation: When have you thought the question, Now What? And what is the answer you heard?

A Little Lagniappe

When we lived in New Orleans, I picked up a word from our N’Awlins native neighbors—lagniappe. Though I haven’t much heard the word used north of Interstate 10, I think the concept is applicable everywhere. Lagniappe is a good thing, loosely defined as an unexpected bonus. Like the baker who slips in an extra cookie with your dozen or the extra encore a band plays at the end of their set, lagniappe is always a good thing, something to make others smile, something to warm cold hearts, something like a little gift. Unexpected. And good.

A smile to greet the scowl, an ear to listen despite a busy schedule, a flower to greet the sunshine, a shimmering moon across water—life and living is filled with lagniappe. Life and living is enriched by giving gifts. How special it feels to receive a present, even a simple one, tied carefully with a bow and given as if time and thought had gone into the gift. Gifts are important. There is nothing like a gift.

Could each day be a gift? Is it possible to think of each day as another opportunity to give of ourselves to those around us and those we love? Because if today is a gift, and if the above statements about giving gifts may be true, then putting time and thought into the day and the gift in the present must be important, as well.

Maybe, with thought and care, each task we go about in every day could become a way of giving of ourselves, of offering lagniappe. Maybe, with consideration on how we interact with others, we could put energy into ensuring the recipient of our time feels as if they have received something more than the end of our ropes—more than a gift shoved into a plastic grocery bag. Perhaps one of my favorite clothing store’s slogans carries truth plastered into the bottom of their shopping bags—“Be the Gift.”

Could it be that we might try to be our best each day, and offer ourselves to the world in which we interact with love? Could we be a gift to those around us? A little taste of lagniappe?

Something once said in encouragement to our children has stuck with me, “Never stop trying to be your very best.” If that could be true for adults even, we could take each day and try to be our very best. The key word is Try. Sure, it’s hard to give of ourselves, and even harder to live to be our very best. But if we try to be our very best, try to give of ourselves to others, try to live today as a gift, then by the merit of trying we have succeeded. Lagniappe.

Gifts are important. There is nothing like a well-given gift, to lift the spirits and to smooth the rough edges of life. Today, we can try to be our very best and offer a little lagniappe to others, to soften the hard edges of these times.
Today is a gift, with plenty of opportunities to give and find lagniappe.

Backdoor Rose

Yesterday, I found a beautiful surprise waiting outside our back door—two perfect unfurling white roses. Since I love roses and have planted dozens outside, rose bouquets are common at our house in summer. But now that the seasons have passed into late fall and our Ohio weather has dipped for weeks into hard freezes, a backyard rose is a rare and miraculous treasure. That this rosebush, tucked along the relative warmth of the house, has withstood the harsh weather is amazing in my mind—but of course, I love it!

Tough times aren’t hard to find these days, and we all are weathering some things not quite as lovely as we’d want. But even in the midst of disappointing news and tough circumstances, those two beautiful white roses brought an untouchable peace, perhaps from knowing that the One who makes the roses bloom despite harsh weather can also bring beauty out of our hard days.

When I set out to be a writer, I don’t think I fully comprehended where words go … but I thought maybe I had something to offer, and so I wrote. It didn’t take much time to figure out that whatever I might write would be taken in different ways. I don’t see myself as having the answers, and certainly don’t see myself as being perfect, but instead see myself as simply a person who, like everyone else, has a story to tell. The process of telling my story is surely flawed, but my simple hope is that my words will be authentic, and a real telling of a journey. My writing is a telling of the view through my lens—what I see, and the hopeful attempt to catch the beauty that happens by.

In this season of economic hard times and high stress, my prayer is that my writing may be a surprise waiting beside the back door … a fresh perspective that may bring a glimpse of beauty and may help point hearts towards hope.

As always, thank you ... enJOY today,

JLK